Interview: Ziji Unleashed!
This issue's Interview features a VERY exclusive conversation with Lotus Garden's quietest resident. In fact he really isn't that quiet; we just all thought he was.
Ziji definitely has intriguing thoughts about all range of topics, but until I picked up my copy of Talking to Dogs (is) for Dummies at Walmart last month, I had no way of knowing.
I will be translating for Ziji in this interview. I must apologize in advance that my understanding of Dog is rudimentary, and I took liberties where there was not a direct translation into English. Ziji took time out of his busy schedule to be interviewed on the porch of Orchard House.
Lotus News: It's very good to see you. Thank you for making the time for this interview.
Ziji: Oh, it's my pleasure. I cleared my schedule for the rest of the day.
Lotus News: Wow! Hopefully this won't take as long as that. So, first question: I have noticed that you may in fact have the best attendance record at prayers. How do you do it?
Ziji: It's quite simple, really. If you like it enough, you will be sure never to miss a session. I'm a people person and it's the best time of day to hang out with all of the residents. Sometimes also I like to try to get someone to laugh at inappropriate times by sitting in the middle of everyone and licking myself really loudly or trying to knock someone over, but lately I've been doing less of that. By the way, your Dog is really coming along—two weeks ago you were still just saying “arf, woof, woof, growl,” over and over.
Lotus News: Why, thank you, Ziji. That means a lot coming from you. I was also wondering what your average day at Lotus Garden is like.
Ziji: My days are much like everyone else's days. You know: prayers, breakfast, work meeting, lunch… the whole deal. I go to work like everyone else, but sometimes I go up to the pool house to hang out with the poodle girls, Kiki and Cassie that is, or sometimes I just sit in the shade. I occasionally like to do a personal session down at Shrine Room P. Usually, I try to hear where I'll be most helpful at the work meeting and go there. I used to go help in the office a lot. Also, I'm pretty much the best digger on the land, so I like to follow Gordon around because you always know he'll find some reason to install a sewer or something.
Lotus News: Really, I didn't realize that you and he shared that particular obsession with…umm…that sort of thing.
Ziji: What sort of thing?
Lotus News: Well you know sewers and [BEEP] and that kind of thing.
Ziji: I see. Are you calling me a [BEEP]?
Lotus News: Oh no not at all! Here have a dog treat.
Ziji: You think I can be appeased with a dog treat?! Well, I've got news for you! You can't bribe me. While we're speaking so freely, I've got a few things to say. First, I can't understand why you people complain about the heat so much. Look at me! I wear a black fur coat all year and you don't hear me whining. Secondly, I don't know what those things are that you all keep wiping me down with, but they smell terrible. Every time you do that I have to go give myself a bath down in the pond right away. Do you think I want to smell like flowers? If I wanted to smell like flowers I would roll in the flowers, not the [BEEP]. Thirdly, I think it's about time that I had equal rights at meals. I want a seat at the table and the same food you eat—is that so much to ask?
Lotus News: Umm…err…do you still want that dog treat?
Ziji: Well, all right. I wouldn't want it to go waste.
[Recording paused to let Ziji eat]

Ziji: Thanks, that was great. What were we talking about again?
Lotus News: I was asking you if you enjoyed any particular teaching at this past Shedra Program.
Ziji: Hmm… that's difficult, since I don't speak English. But I would guess that one that was on… patience? Or was it tathagatagarbha? I can't remember now. That was a pretty exciting time for me. There were so many people to meet. Unfortunately, I think someone told them not to pet me because they wouldn't touch me. Do I look like I'm going to walk up and just bite someone?
Lotus News: Well, you're kind of big. Maybe that scared them.
Ziji: Awesome. It's about time I got some respect around here.
Lotus News: I'm sorry that you seem a bit disgruntled. Is there anything we can do?
Ziji: Oh no, I'm actually quite gruntled. It's just a dog's life, you know? I try to deal with it as best I can, but sometimes things just slip out.
Lotus News: Well, that's good to hear. Any parting words for the Lotus News readers? Take your time and think carefully—this will be read by five, maybe ten people.
Ziji: How about, "You've got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run."
Lotus News: That is always good advice. Dog Treat?
Ziji: Yes, please.
Photo credits: Series of Ziji and Alex (Vitali Pozdniakov, ©2007)
©2007 Mindrolling International All rights reserved